


Shingeki no Vegan

by Calicornia



Category: Naruto, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-06 23:42:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17354876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calicornia/pseuds/Calicornia
Summary: Rock Lee has some trouble with the body double.





	Shingeki no Vegan

It all started when I was born. Yes, me, the writer. Anyways, here's Wonderwall.

"Jesus fucking fuck!" Rock Lee ran from the feds, he has skipped his taxes for the past five months.

"Hey, over here!" A whisper came from a levitating zipper, "I can-a help-a you-a!"

"Who are you!?" Rock Lee shouted, the feds closing in on him.

"I'm-a you but-a more-a Gucci!" The man extended his arm from the zipper, yanking Lee into the 4th dimension. The feds crashed their segways head on.

"Fuck!" The leader of the feds, Shinji Ikari, ripped off his helmet, "I can't believe we fuckin' lost him!"

"We lose a lot of things in life." Polnareff said from his turtle body, "Except our virginity..." the turtle man cried out.

"So this is where Neji was all this time!" Lee shouted as he fell through the fourth dimension, the walls screamed, the floor creamed, and reality seemed... yes... There was only one option. Vegan dance routines. Rock Lee spread his arms out and took the form of a gazelle, Bruno followed and became a Lion. Both of them entered the Whole Foods.

"Hi welcome to Whole Foods." Koichi greeted the pair.

"Those dance moves better fuckin' gluten free!" Fugo shouted from the cheese isle. Rock Lee pondered, if the cheese is vegan, where's it from? Find out next time on ABC Family.

The Vegan gods were coming, and they weren't happy. Their names? Sideshow Bob, Markiplier, and Gerard Way.

"Who dares beat their meat in this Christian Whole Foods?" Sideshow Bob blared. A brave lone cowboy stood up.

"'Tis I! The Hol Horse!" Poor Hol Horse only got that out before being turned into Tofu.

"The feast begins." Sideshow Bob caused the apocolypse four times. Everyone had the same soul, same body, but they just didn't realize it.

Gerard Way wrote an emo ballad about the brave young Hol Horse. Markiplier thought deeply about Markiplier.

"OH MY GOD!" Joseph rode in on another Joseph, "I WON'T ALLOW THIS! I LOVE MEAT!" Joseph catapulted himself into Sideshow Bob's face.

"Joseph what are you doing!?" Ceaser popped out from the salad section, "This is my home!"

"Well call me Tim Allen, 'cuz this is Home Improvement!" Joseph merged with Sideshow Bob, creating Malachite. "We're Malacite now!" Joseph hermit purpled him and SSB into the ocean. Markiplier walked to go mark his Markitube video.

"Yare Yare Markze..." Markiplier Pliered.

The fourth dimension was open, and Steven had to make a decision.

"I'm the real malachite!" Shouted Sideshow Bob and Joseph. Steven cried as the mustard bottle in his hand absorbed the heat from his body. Lee, unaware of the situation unfolding befoee him, danced to his favorite song by BTS (Bonic the Sedgehog).

"I can't do it!" Steven turned the mustard towards the whole foods, "Veganism is evil!" The mustaed pierced the head of the sentient force that protected the Whole Foods, Sentient Head of Lettuce.


End file.
